Controlling the Craziness

I have battled uncertainty all my life.  I don’t know if it is pride or just being afraid of my own feelings.   I am constantly trying to be in control .  This just brings emptiness.  In the heart of my darkness the emptiness was terrifying.  I felt an almost constant ache deep in the pit of my stomach.  The more vices I gave into, the more pain I felt. Everything around me crumbled.  Trying to be in control of others or situations just  left me lonely.  I used to believe being lonely was a part of my genetic make-up.  I could never shake it.  I know now God doesn’t want us to be lonely.  He has filled parts of me that were incomplete and has given me the pleasure of overcoming many painful obstacles.  I still struggle everyday.  Thankfully, God is the only one I answer to.   All my wrong decisions, being too late or too early or not good enough does not apply with him.  If i am in his will everything will be perfect!

6 thoughts on “Controlling the Craziness

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