Italo Calvino said: The more enlightened our houses are, the more their walls ooze ghosts. Image credit: “love Don’t live here anymore…” – © 2009 Robb North
I look at this house and see the western sun filling the windows with a warm amber glow. I see the loving family embracing the children running in and out. I also see the family very rich in love while only providing the bare necessities of life. My 10 yr old sees sadness. He cannot see passed the dilapidated house with no windows whose previous owners cold not have enjoyed the supplementals of life.
How could I as a mother have failed so much? I thought I had taught my children about selfishness, and having a proper attitude. Not to see things from the outside in but to look at a person’s heart to find their true identity. I write this as I hear my boys fighting in the next room as they are playing on their newest hankering, their “precious”. My husband calls the xbox the “precious” because if left up to them, my boys would play on it day and night. They began to plan their days around it. If I call them for dinner they eat as if they are mesmerized by the hum of the power button in the next room.
I begin to think though why not love this game? My son does not have to change who he is to play it. He does not have to please a loving member of the family so that he can hear them say I love you. He does not have to face the pain and rejections that occur when we are around family that may not have the patience to see him for who he really is. He sees this old house as a self-portrait. A strong sturdy shell but hollow inside.
My job seems to be a little harder at times. Every day is a challenge to keep him from slipping into a depression that others see as controlling and demanding. It hurts to be alone. It also hurts to walk into the lion’s den. Imagine the fear he feels not being able to spend time with family because he is afraid of what might be said to him. My younger son just knows that something is not right. But each of them know about sharing and love. We have a unofficial cookie ministry for their friends. If someone is sick or in need, we bake. I have one that cooks and one that gives them out. I truly have the best of both houses.