Hide and Seek..God Knows


Slaves used to sing a song “Follow the drinking gourd.”  It was a code to follow the north star to the underground railroad. Frederick Douglas although an escaped slave himself, criticized the movement.  He felt it would allow slave owners to be more aware of these escape attempts therefore making it harder for the slaves to escape.Girl_20-_20Domestic_20Violence

A  Domestic violence Hooligan is aware of all these past devastating tools.  These slave owners will hold on to every ounce of your spirit.  They will recite their criticism reiteratively. Many of us  look back and feel inside our timid little hearts, descriptions from a person who has chosen to withdrawal from a family instead of giving the unconditional love the family  needed for survival. This is a devastating blow. Words can be the most camouflaged thing in a house.  They can pull a child apart and leave her empty.  The only happiness she can feel is when  words of criticism are spoken.  “Her” words make her comfortable.These are the words she is familiar with. They pull her into a dark space in her mind.  She feels powerful and rapacious there.

She will stay there.  Her misery will grow and develop in more spaces where she will save her sadness.  Look for God in your difficult places.  He will never leave you or forsake you–Hebrews 13:5.  We never have to question his words.

Pretty Little Punches


domestic-kidsWhen you say you love me do you think I feel it.  Do you think it passes through this thick, course shell that I have grown over the years?  What do you want that to mean?  Your  manipulation has been growing in me for years.  I am not a person who feels or who loves.  I am the person you have made.  Do you like the person you built?  The one who hates life.  I hate the promises you have engraved in me.  Every time I hear them I feel a sting of pain that connects to every one of my organs but  never leaves my body.  I am stuck to live out this life you created in my head like a game that plays over and over. You have chosen me. Make me what you want because one day my shell will remain and I will be with the Holy One.  The only one who can perfectly  mend and love this broken child. He secretly holds me when you push.  He whispers soft kind words and carries me through another day.  Maybe one day you will find my friend.  He is there with us, I see him every time you thrust your love against my body and remind me how much you love me.dvbrokenheart