Daily Prompt: Attacked by Outside Forces


surviving-lupus.gif (311×131) Lupus is one of the most cryptic, mystifying  diseases on the planet.  As a wife and mother I get up every morning to car pools and breakfast and plan my day around doing cloths and arranging dinner.  The rest of the day, the part nobody sees, is sweatpants, naps and Netflix.  The hardest part of lupus to me is having to explain to someone what it is.  Lupus is so different for so many people.  But as most of us know, I don’t look sick on the outside but my body is at war on the inside.Sunset_2007-1

I remember as a child the severe leg cramps.  I remember getting burnt too many times at the beach and winding up with blisters on my lips.  I remember the mouth sores and being so tired some days that I could sleep forever!  But I was a teenager.  I lived in Florida.  I was a swimmer, cheerleader, lifeguard, well and just plain busy.  I had a convertible and I loathed in the sun for that perfect tan so I never protected my face.  The one thing I  did not think about was the photosensitivity to my eyes.  We did not have computers when I was a teen but now if I write to long my fore flare begins.

My ten-year old has started to produce the same symptoms I had as a little girl.  He has leg cramps and if he goes outside for any length of time his face flares so bad it looks like a second degree sunburn.  unfortunately for him the number one cause of his fore flare is his gaming systems. If he plays to long he pops up with a nasty butterfly rash.  A friend told me about Gunnar glasses from amazon.com.  They will protect him from computer vision syndrome and cut back on the ugliness of the disease.  I have not tried these yet but, I am very interested to see if they work.cartoon-boy-playing-hand-held-computer-gamer-19756498

Maybe that is why Lupus is so relentless.  The outside wonders of the world, the vitamin D & C which claim to help depression and give you the boost you need are the very things that make me so sick.  The entire atmosphere can bombard my body. So if you see that nice tan glow that makes us look healthy just remember it makes us feel horrendous and scared that at any minute we could feel the wrath of the warm, glowing sun.

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Faith and Family


One of the most frightening things for me to do is to share my faith.  It is not necessarily hard from a worldly view so much as it is with my own children.  I have a child who lacks the social development of the children his age.  How do you explain  faith to a child who cannot look you in the eye and feel the emotional response that comes from trusting God?  How do you explain to other families in church that your son does feel loneliness.  He does not mean to be spontaneous or not respond to your emotions.  The measure of his friendships are based on  quality not the quantity. The quality of his relationships are strained daily even though everyday of his life has been a lesson in behavior or in social interventions.

I have to explain it in the easiest way I can for him.  You see he knows that Jesus died for his sins but he has a hard time grasping the beauty of that concept.  He hates the pain that Jesus suffered but, visualizing him on the cross between two criminals is the most powerful display of love he feels.  Just to know that Jesus, while on earth could forgive sin and immediately assure one of the men eternal paradise shows him what he needs spiritually.  I do not know if he feels the warmth and beauty of having God’s word to hold on to but I thank God that the bible gives us stories of unbelievable courage and love that I know he reads over and over.

The Journey of Love


Jesus

Jesus (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

English: Resurrection of Christ

English: Resurrection of Christ (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Have you ever gone through a divorce or separation? Sadly, right now I feel as if I am in the middle of a bitter, difficult resolution of my relationship with God. Fortunately, i know that loving God is a lifelong individual journey that I will embark on for the rest of my life.

When I was 18 this journey with God began. I was very naive and did not know how to grow as a Christian. I knew something inside of me had changed. I wholeheartedly gave everything I had to worshiping Jesus. I felt love and peace. I followed Jesus faithfully and boldly. I wanted to learn everything I could about the bible. I was excited and I energetically tried to serve anyway I could. But, nobody taught me how to be a Christian.

Before I knew it, my selfish controlling attributes started sneaking back in. The devil got a foothold. I grew farther from Jesus but I still felt his presence in my life. God allowed me to do things my way. I began to make one bad decision after another and completely stopped growing in my Christian life. All the time something had a hold on me. God never left me. I began a complete downward spiral. Fortunately,  he knew when I had enough. I spent years doing it my way then God drew the line. Everything around me crumbled. He began to show me  he wanted a relationship with me personally. He gave me strength. I began a new attitude in my relationship with him and others around me. I began to see things God’s way. Many times I took baby steps or turned away all together but God remained faithful. He showed me he had bigger plans for my life,

Many parts of my life have changed since then. I became a humble servant and God began to work through me. Then, my health began to change. This is when I slowly started to feel my relationship with him trying to unravel.  It is amazing how quickly you can stop spending time in his word. How you may disagree with his plan. I became stubborn and as I defended my individual rights, it started to take away my worship and my time-serving him. Once again I was stranded. I was lonely. My relationship was crumbling right in front of my eyes. Divorce could be imminent. But, for a man who willingly laid down his life for me and endured such torture I am willing to go through some pride and discomfort to have a lasting, loving investment in this marriage. I will not go through the pain of divorce again. I challenge everyone to practice unconditional love and develop intimacy in whatever relationship honors you in your life.

Daily Prompt: The Love of Freedom and Faith


           We live in a world of uncertainty.mum 001<!–
We are all free to perform everyday  routines that affect the people around us. Everything we do has an effect on somebody.
I love being able to open the minds of my children that otherwise would have an inverted view of social development. I love them. It is as simple as that. They have unwillingly been my source of strength. Both of my children have difficult, demanding personalities. My oldest child’s entire life has been a struggle. His mind is brilliant but he has developing impulsive, disorganized, forgetful traits are not tolerated in our schools today.  He is kind and loving but, he cannot use compassion as it is intended.

In my darkest days being a Mother was truly a burden on me.  I say that not to hurt anyone but to describe how painful the mistakes I made in his young life, still hurt  in the pit of my family’s heart.  The only deep attention he got was punishment.  Poor Parenting and Teaching obviously made his disorder worse.  But, his condition was genetic and it came from God.  

Faith Happens

We have the freedom to believe in God.  C.S. Lewis said that doubt is not the opposite of faith-it is a necessary ingredient.  If there was no element of doubt, there would be no room for faith.  (It would just be fact).

Most people do not think of faith when they start the car.  We don’t look at our phone as an object of faith.  We turn it on and make a call.  All of the technical stuff is left up to the developers and their genius ideas.  But, we have FAITH that these devices will work.  What about the minds of these children and the lost?  They have no freedom.  To me, faith is my freedom… We need to teach faith differently some times and get into the minds and hearts of all the faith-busting ideas people struggle with today.

The Better to see you With….


This Gift (song)

In my family there are four daughters. Although we loved each other very much, all of your imperfections were pointed out to you. This would happen often.  That is what girls do when they fight.  We had many nicknames for each other.  Mine was buck tooth, bed head, snaggle pig.  My older sister was responsible for that one.  I don’t know what a snaggle pig is but she sure enjoyed saying it.  We traveled a lot, just Mom and the girls so, we were always in the car.  I had a hard time reading street signs and my punctuation of words became an ongoing joke.  So, when the daily post prompted us to share our imperfections …..and cherish them, of course I went back to my childhood.  But, there is one imperfection I owned that was granted a pardon.  I sleep with my eyes half-open.  They say there is a medical reason for this but it allowed me to freak people out, and that was a beautiful gift to have in my position of the family heirocracy.  Oh, and let me mention my son has this imperfect gift also.  So, watching him sleep soundly I get to see his beautiful eyes and enjoy him in  his peaceful slumber.

The Journey of Love


Jesus

Jesus (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

English: Resurrection of Christ

English: Resurrection of Christ (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Have you ever gone through a divorce or separation? Sadly, right now I feel as if I am in the middle of a bitter, difficult resolution of my relationship with God. Fortunately, i know that loving God is a lifelong individual journey that I will embark on for the rest of my life.

When I was 18 this journey with God began. I was very naive and did not know how to grow as a Christian. I knew something inside of me had changed. I wholeheartedly gave everything I had to worshiping Jesus. I felt love and peace. I followed Jesus faithfully and boldly. I wanted to learn everything I could about the bible. I was excited and I energetically tried to serve anyway I could. But, nobody taught me how to be a Christian.

Before I knew it, my selfish controlling attributes started sneaking back in. The devil got a foothold. I grew farther from Jesus but I still felt his presence in my life. God allowed me to do things my way. I began to make one bad decision after another and completely stopped growing in my Christian life. All the time something had a hold on me. God never left me. I began a complete downward spiral. Fortunately,  he knew when I had enough. I spent years doing it my way then God drew the line. Everything around me crumbled. He began to show me  he wanted a relationship with me personally. He gave me strength. I began a new attitude in my relationship with him and others around me. I began to see things God’s way. Many times I took baby steps or turned away all together but God remained faithful. He showed me he had bigger plans for my life,

Many parts of my life have changed since then. I became a humble servant and God began to work through me. Then, my health began to change. This is when I slowly started to feel my relationship with him trying to unravel.  It is amazing how quickly you can stop spending time in his word. How you may disagree with his plan. I became stubborn and as I defended my individual rights, it started to take away my worship and my time-serving him. Once again I was stranded. I was lonely. My relationship was crumbling right in front of my eyes. Divorce could be imminent. But, for a man who willingly laid down his life for me and endured such torture I am willing to go through some pride and discomfort to have a lasting, loving investment in this marriage. I will not go through the pain of divorce again. I challenge everyone to practice unconditional love and develop intimacy in whatever relationship honors you in your life.