One of the most frightening things for me to do is to share my faith. It is not necessarily hard from a worldly view so much as it is with my own children. I have a child who lacks the social development of the children his age. How do you explain faith to a child who cannot look you in the eye and feel the emotional response that comes from trusting God? How do you explain to other families in church that your son does feel loneliness. He does not mean to be spontaneous or not respond to your emotions. The measure of his friendships are based on quality not the quantity. The quality of his relationships are strained daily even though everyday of his life has been a lesson in behavior or in social interventions.
I have to explain it in the easiest way I can for him. You see he knows that Jesus died for his sins but he has a hard time grasping the beauty of that concept. He hates the pain that Jesus suffered but, visualizing him on the cross between two criminals is the most powerful display of love he feels. Just to know that Jesus, while on earth could forgive sin and immediately assure one of the men eternal paradise shows him what he needs spiritually. I do not know if he feels the warmth and beauty of having God’s word to hold on to but I thank God that the bible gives us stories of unbelievable courage and love that I know he reads over and over.
In my family there are four daughters. Although we loved each other very much, all of your imperfections were pointed out to you. This would happen often. That is what girls do when they fight. We had many nicknames for each other. Mine was buck tooth, bed head, snaggle pig. My older sister was responsible for that one. I don’t know what a snaggle pig is but she sure enjoyed saying it. We traveled a lot, just Mom and the girls so, we were always in the car. I had a hard time reading street signs and my punctuation of words became an ongoing joke. So, when the daily post prompted us to share our imperfections …..and cherish them, of course I went back to my childhood. But, there is one imperfection I owned that was granted a pardon. I sleep with my eyes half-open. They say there is a medical reason for this but it allowed me to freak people out, and that was a beautiful gift to have in my position of the family heirocracy. Oh, and let me mention my son has this imperfect gift also. So, watching him sleep soundly I get to see his beautiful eyes and enjoy him in his peaceful slumber.
My oldest child was born late in 2001. I knew that day was special because it was snowing. Living in Texas does not allow that unbearable, frigid temperature to become a nuisance as it does to my northern neighbors. It is a treat that brings our children great pleasure. So in late November my perfect baby was born as the snow fell just enough on the cars outside to let us write his arrival in the snow. Three weeks after his birth my life was changed forever.
As we celebrate Easter, why should we get excited? I think it is essential because it offers hope and guidance as to why we are here. The first Easter baskets were filled with eggs for prosperity, horseradish for bitterness, salt, ham and bread to remind us of how Jesus used it to feed the multitudes. The resurrection brings us hope . Sin would become victorious in men. Eternal punishment would be all we would have to look forward to. Our lives would be pitiful. If you consider all the other leaders, and prophets this world has seen consider why it is that we can consume their bodies and prove that they are still in their resting places. They have not risen as Christ has. Jesus promises to come to get his harvest and fruit. One day we will be redeemed with victory over death. We know this because Jesus’ body has risen! The rock was rolled away to prove the tomb’s emptiness.
Pain is a powerful thing. No one can judge you in this world! It is not our right. We continue to penalize ourself but Jesus has already paid our price. Your physical pain can continue and the emptiness and sadness might be overwhelming. You might feel so battered and bruised that you cannot feel anything past this very second of your life. Your grief can consume you so much that as you try to scream out for something, you cannot make sound come out of your mouth, You are paralyzed with pain. Life consumes you. But, we do not live for this life. Cry out to God in any way you can. He hears all prayers. Be still and be quiet and I promise peach will come to you. God will give you your direction. I challenge you to look at your life. Is there a part of yourself that you could give up? Could you give your life to someone who has had his ripped from him?
I started this story with my son’s birth. I want to tell you why over the last 11 years the place I stand now is very dear to me and I do not want to take what I have been given for granted. He was three weeks old when I drove my car into a concrete barrier. I am sorry I do not remember the various details. I remember complete darkness and silence. Suddenly, a light consumed my face. I started to walk down the road very dazed and confused. But still complete silence and an overwhelming effervescence of light. A truck driver appeared. He was talking to me but I don’t remember what he was saying. Then, a feeling of complete horror came over me. My baby. I had my baby in the car! Where was he? He was not crying. The look on the man’s face turned to complete agony. He ran back to my car. I was still dazed and confused. He found my child lying on the back seat beside his car seat. There was glass all around him but it was like he had been placed gently down on the seat. He had been protected as he was thrown around in the car and it rolled to a stop. What else can I say. He was perfect. He was protected. As we all are. Sometimes we get the chance to see it clearer. What I did not say was my life didn’t become perfect. The trials actually got worse. But, life does that. Love God and please don’t give up. You are welcome to share with me.