My Pride and Joy


momI know we all have our own obsessive thoughts, right?  I have been confined to my couch for a good part of a year now with short intervals of my formal life breaking through every now and then.  This year has been filled with many devastating set backs.  Day after day I loathed in sorrow.  I was doing nothing to help my situation.  Then, a really good friend showed me that it was my pride that was getting in the way.  Pride hurts us and it hurts others around us.

We are not gracious or compassionate by nature,  We are jealous and quick to anger.  When life is good we take too much credit.  When life is bad our pride is hurt and we become self-conscious and shameful.  That becomes another way of taking too much credit because God’s will is never wrong.

I have worked diligently through the years in a field that I love. Unfortunately, it was not job description I had always longed for.  My performance reviews showed extremely high ratings and now after 20 years my arrogance finally took me down.  I could not perform the description of what my job entails.  I became depressed and broken.

God hates pride. But,  God also gives us grace and mercy when we are at our worse.  I cried out to him so many times.  Still I never could pick myself up.  I did not get to hear that still small voice that comforts us as we pray.  I was pulling away. I got very angry. But, I realized I wasn’t supposed to pick myself up, …. God was. My friends were so helpful.  People brought food and a lended ear.  But, I was crying out for the wrong reason.  I am arrogant. I want to be the best at whatever I do.  But,that is not what God wants. I feel like I am a burden and my pride doesn’t allow me to fully feel God’s grace and mercy.  My friends were not burdened, they were serving God.

God knows when we genuinely surrender.  He knows our heart and motives.  Pride can take your life.  We are never as bad or good as we think we are.  Surrendering to God while you are still grasping to your pride will not work.  God gives us unconditional love.  The less we credit him the further we pull away.

 

Advertisements

Lost and Found


boys 002A  Grandmother Is sitting on the bed of a 10-year-old boy whose father had just left the home due to infidelity.  The boy stood in front of her motionless and emotionally drained.  She asked the boy to close his eyes and think of his father.  After many half-hearted attempts he closed his eyes tight and thought.  Once he had the memory that he cherished the most, she asked him to hold out his arms and grab that memory and pull it tightly to his chest.  The boy did as he was told. With profound concentration, he opened his eyes.  She asked him to hold that memory tight in his hand and put it in the pocket of his cloths.  There the memory would stay.  It would be there for him anytime he needed it.

God made us perfect.  Although, we are all sinners, we are still God’s servants.  and we are instructed to forgive.  No sin has more value than another.  We have all broken the commandments of God at some point in our lives.  Some people are reminded of their sin everyday by the choices they have made.

The most difficult part of life for me is forgiveness.  We work at clearing our heart of all the demons and the people we hurt , but do we really forget?  God’s grace gives us the power to do that.  The bible says, not only does God forgive but he also banishes the memory.  He remembers it no more.  (Isaiah 43:25.)

god

Bitterness and hatred can consume anybody.  We are all born with God’s purpose in mind.  Although the path we choose can be a result of our circumstances,  God has a will for the situation you are in.  Even if the choice you make has brought you down, look up.  Give God’s grace a try.  Forgiveness and repentance are gifts we all have.  Forgive yourself one step at a time……

Maybe a child right now is holding on tight to a memory of you.