Have I told you today that I hate Lupus? I hate waking up, walking out of my bedroom and hearing….Nothing. Everyone has already started their day. I look around the house and all I see is a mess. Someone forgot their Friday folder, Someone left the milk out, and cloths are everywhere because of course nobody folded the cloths in the dryer so they were missing all their essentials. Sometimes it feels like everything is crumbling around me. Did I tell you I was a perfectionist? I might have forgotten to mention that. I guess that is getting better because before if I saw my husbands cloths lying in front of the hamper I would lose it. I am not sure why the boys in this house cannot actually dump the cloths in the container instead of right in front of it? Anyway, I am sad. I cannot stay awake more than a few hours at a time. And, now I am boring. I am not a fun mom anymore. My family tells me they love me. I know they do and don’t see things the way I do but I don’t want my life to be like this. Can anyone make it go away? Sorry everyone, I just need to vent. Lupus will not win! It may today, but not forever.
I asked my children to tell me how they feel about Lupus and how they feel about me being sick. These are some of the things they said. The writer in me had to correct some grammar but I love we got to the surface of their feelings. I hope to get even deeper because they are the future and the future of medicine. I hope to unleash a passion in them. Well, maybe I am getting to deep at this point.. Right now what I really love is that they love me. They hear what is going on and they care about the changes going on in this family.
My mom sleeps in late, is always sick, and has strep . My mom is sick all the time, but I can sill have fun with her. At the end of all of that, she is the best mother in the world, no exceptions! by caleb……… It is hard when my mommy is sick. I still have fun. We get to watch movies and do laundry, She watches us play on our scooters. I am angry sometimes. I am angry with the doctors because they won’t make a medicine to help lupus. But it still won’t break us from our love. I am happy when she feels good. I love mommy with all my heart and soul. We pray every night like our mommy and me time….conner
Maybe pogo sticks are alot like life. We jump up and down with so much energy but, where does it take us? we use so much force pumping up and down to help ourselves move. When we get off what have we accomplished? I need to be more complacent in my life. Everyday so much velocity is used to pull us in different directions but, where do we eventually end up? Can we stay in one place and use our pogo sticks to build a solid but powerful foundation for our families? Too many times the ones we love the most do not get the strongest side of us and we leave them hungry for more.