James 3:5 says, “The tongue is a small thing but what enormous damage it can do.”Children live in deep un conscious unity with their parents. They may be able to feel a parent’s emotions and moods before they are expressed. When a parent develops setbacks, these can cause great discouragement to the child. disasters and obstacles can control the leadership of the family eventually sowing a seed in the child’s behaviour. Beliefs produce that behavior. This initiates us to believe the things that are not true. This control produces sinful behavior and every act of sin in our lives begins with a lie.
Children have the biggest hearts. They do not use lies as opportunities. Their devotion and tender prayers are so simple and free from judgement. Why can’t we love like that?
God’s compassion changes everyday. It becomes new and fresh. But what if God turned the tables and offered us no compassion? When we asked for forgiveness what if he said no? When we asked for a helping hand, and he said he did not have time.?. Many people are unaware that this behavior consumes their heart. Many days I am an empty shell in need of a loving hand to feel around me. I feel if I make one more mistake I could easily stay this way. I am truly powerless but how do you become powerful when its hard to think straight?
We can never know exactly what we will face each day . But we need to dressed for the fight. Before rising, let prayer be your protection. In these times we all need a saving grace who can provide comfort,hope and strength.
“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong”(Romans 12:9). Why is it so hard to love some people? My mother-in-law, the one who gives me a pounding headache. The one who has the un official authority to say and do anything was ringing the doorbell at my own humble house. I could hear her come in and I smelled the spring air fly through the house like a wave of sweetness. I heard her uneven steps as she navigated over the things on the floor. As I began to apologize for the jeans hanging on the back of the chairs and the shoes scattered around, I forgot about the dishes in the sink. I quickly tried to make it to the sink without her realizing what I was about to do. Her laughter filled the house as the hot water bubbled up and over the soap-filled dish pan. She put her arm around me and reminded me her house was not always perfect. It certainly did not make her a failure as a mother. And she said,” I don’t think that of you.” There is an admiration that comes after we have tried to do another persons job.
When I was a child everything I did had to be perfect. The anxiety that led up to an event was gut wrenching. I did not want ny father to make fun of me or talk down to me. It was my sport and I was sure I knew what I was doing. But I was so used to it. Did he ever tell me good job? I can’t remember. I am sure at times he did. Even now I am the last one out of four girls that he calls if something happens…good or bad. is he embarrassed of me. Does he not trust me? After my introduction to my wild side that REALLY changed things. He did not trust my professional opinion or ask for advise on anything. I always got a lecture on why I needed help or money. There was always a fight. He always had to tell me what I was doing wrong. Not in a good learning experience, but a bad hurtful one. I loved him but now I don’t want to be around him. I needed him. Not to fight, not for him to dominate the conversation but to teach me, to love me. Was I a disappointment? Is that why I am not good at much? Am I teaching my kids that? Am I raising my kids wrong. That is the opinion I get from him.. Why does he hate me so much? How do i break the cycle. Is this why I feel so guilty after I know that I have done some thing wrong? It is like I can never get it back. It will never disappear and it leaves me with a big gushing hole in my heart. Is this why I can’t forgive? It is a horrible feeling to feel as though you are not good at the things a parent expects you to be.
As I go through my seasons I have to remember that God commanded us to love our enemies . I pray that he will teach me how to love difficult people.
What do the children see?
A shaggy blonde boy with dirty fingernails and huge bright blue eyes smiling as he is making a hotdog. His parents are yelling in the background over misbehaviour by another child. He deflects this screaming and runs out to join his friends who are waiting outside to play. Children begin to develop road maps in the brain. Patterns they embed to help them feel safe in times of trauma. These safe places become a place to hide. Children begin to stop questioning and growing because they run to their safe place which offers no way for them to express their own views or ask questions. The children finally separate. They learn no one is in control. The parent’s authority and credibility are now threatened.
What do the children see?
In school we teach children answers to questions with questions. We are taught to criticize books and research. Criticism becomes the center of learning in their educational world. They become very skilled at it. Therefore as a teen we criticize everything and criticism becomes a way of finding answers and questioning beliefs. But on this thin line is also cynicism. It draws conclusions but it trashes beliefs. We must keep them questioning and thinking. Performance is empowering and they must be encouraged to express their own views so their fears are numerous but warranted.
What do the children see?
In Nick Pollard’s book, “Why do they do That”, he talks about the parallels of drugs and pain. We all reach for the Tylenol or heroin in some cases, but when it wears off the pain is greater. Many will try other ways that don’t work. The pain remains and grows. It is much like emotional pain that cannot be taken away by itself. It can be scary and lead to a downward spiral. We must teach our children that all pain cannot be taken away. They must live through it to grow, thrive and transform.
What do I want my children to see?
A love so deep that even in silence they can still hear my voice. I would love to hear your reaction or responses. Please let me know what you think.
We live in a world of uncertainty.<!–
We are all free to perform everyday routines that affect the people around us. Everything we do has an effect on somebody.
I love being able to open the minds of my children that otherwise would have an inverted view of social development. I love them. It is as simple as that. They have unwillingly been my source of strength. Both of my children have difficult, demanding personalities. My oldest child’s entire life has been a struggle. His mind is brilliant but he has developing impulsive, disorganized, forgetful traits are not tolerated in our schools today. He is kind and loving but, he cannot use compassion as it is intended.
In my darkest days being a Mother was truly a burden on me. I say that not to hurt anyone but to describe how painful the mistakes I made in his young life, still hurt in the pit of my family’s heart. The only deep attention he got was punishment. Poor Parenting and Teaching obviously made his disorder worse. But, his condition was genetic and it came from God.
We have the freedom to believe in God. C.S. Lewis said that doubt is not the opposite of faith-it is a necessary ingredient. If there was no element of doubt, there would be no room for faith. (It would just be fact).
Most people do not think of faith when they start the car. We don’t look at our phone as an object of faith. We turn it on and make a call. All of the technical stuff is left up to the developers and their genius ideas. But, we have FAITH that these devices will work. What about the minds of these children and the lost? They have no freedom. To me, faith is my freedom… We need to teach faith differently some times and get into the minds and hearts of all the faith-busting ideas people struggle with today.
Tooth fairy (Photo credit: aaipodpics)
English: A Snickers candy bar, broken in half. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Rewards have become the result of our self-serving nature. The entitlement my children display after one of their crimes has been committed, definitely shows me that they use it freely as part of a
maneuver tactic when they dart around defensive explanations. I mean don’t you think everyone is entitled to a candy bar because they HAD to go to the store with their mother, the one who makes lunches and the one that would be blamed if I bought the wrong kind of chips if I had gone alone.
Do you remember when your child’s nature first reared its ugly head? Did your beautiful bundle of joy cry when they needed something. Of course, as parents the next step is to center the attention around their child. To keep the peace and harmony in the house we subconsciously became the sole servant who taught this child how to communicate using rewards to get what he wanted. In the bible, we are all born sinners. The bible also teaches us to raise up our children with love and powerful discipline.
I was going through some papers and I came across a note my child wrote to the tooth fairy. It says:
Just leave the money on my dresser. Please
signed: K (nickname of course)
P.S. Keep in touch!
Entitlement at its finest!
God Love Her (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
HI! How are you? I’m good. I bet we all have answered that response more times than we can count. What about our children? As parents we except that generic response from them when they get home because as adults we want to protect their world but not exclude future conversation. I think this may cause emotions which could damage our relationship. Over time in any family, faulty thinking is becoming a distorted view of perception. We ALL believe what we think. This could cause a faulty way of seeing things. This conflict over time could then turn into a belief and this causes lifelong feuds in many families. We hold on to the anger unwillingly and our relationships remain broken. Sometimes for years. These types of relationships trickle down from generation to generation.
My inspiration right now is coming from my children. They have lived with my illness for as long as they can remember. I know they are hurting. They are remarkably strong. Confronting painful questions and seeing me sick has rendered me helpless. I feel very alone as everyone goes about their day. The laughter and joy do not run as deep in the house as it did once before. But, I want to share a letter written by one of my boys:
I’m really sorry that we don’t respect you the way we should. I love you and your my parent. I should treat you with more respect. I know you are sick and it’s not your fault you have lupus and infections. I try to help you and comfort you. The last thing is that I love you!
These are supernatural words of wisdom. As I pray daily it is your voice that comforts me. God, thank you for allowing me to be your child and given me ears to hear. wherever we are today God is there to help us. God’s dear presence will rekindle the fire of hope in our hearts.
I am going through some emptiness and anger. For so long I didn’t care for someone to get close to me. It is hard to step out of the darkness. But step by step we can walk in God’s love. If others can learn from my mistake it may save them from the pain. Please be encouraged. It’s better to love and support what others are doing than what we are doing ourselves.
Embassy of Babies (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I have a desire for peace and quiet. I have a desire for intimacy and obedient children. These things rule my heart. This causes me to judge anyone that is denying me of what I want. I assume it is an automatic response. When I was a kid I often got upset at the way my parents handled things. Now that I am a parent, I wish I could remember the way they handled us. I have three sisters and we all turned out pretty good…Right? I see the youthfulness in my children flying away everyday. I desire their lives to be full of laughter and joy. Ok. Now, let’s be real….As parents, my husband and I could not be more different. So, right there the desire is gone…puff…gone. Managing two special kids is never routine. I am trying to accept his parenting style. But, he carries many roles. The most important role is to help his children fit into God‘s plan. If you come from a family with clear biblical values, it should follow you through your lives. If you forget those values things in the home become bitter. Many times these values are forgotten or never learned. So instead of becoming a desirable accountability partner, I withhold mercy. There is frustration and attack. So, instead of having a discussion with my husband I talk with a friend. Our negotiations are so heated at times I am afraid we don’t even know what we are fighting for. I know this hurts our family. I withhold so much anger. I still desire my husband and love him but, I know that I punish him. I get overwhelmed especially when I am not being heard. My motherhood is being questioned and corrected. So, I also desire to be loved and You will never learn to love if you don’t learn kindness. So, this is what my desire is for you and for all families…