Desire

Embassy of Babies (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have a desire for peace and quiet.  I have a desire for intimacy and obedient children.  These things rule my heart.  This causes me to judge anyone that is denying me of what I want.  I assume it is an automatic response.  When I was a kid I often got upset at the way my parents handled things.  Now that I am a parent, I wish I could remember the way they handled us.  I have three sisters and we all turned out pretty good…Right?  I see the youthfulness in my children flying away everyday.  I desire their lives to be full of laughter and joy.  Ok.  Now, let’s be real….As parents, my husband and I could not be more different.  So, right there the desire is gone…puff…gone.  Managing two special kids is never routine.  I am trying to  accept his parenting style.  But, he carries many roles.  The most important role is to help his children fit into God‘s plan.  If you come from a family with clear biblical values, it should  follow you through your lives. If you forget those values things in the home become bitter.  Many times these values are forgotten or never learned.   So instead of becoming a desirable accountability partner, I withhold mercy. There is frustration and attack. So, instead of having a discussion with my husband I talk with a friend.  Our negotiations are so heated at times I am afraid we don’t even know what we are fighting for.  I know this hurts our family.  I withhold so much anger.  I still desire my husband and love him but,  I know that I punish him. I get overwhelmed especially when I am not being heard. My motherhood is being questioned and corrected. So, I also desire to be loved and You will never learn to love if you don’t learn kindness.  So, this is what my desire is for you and for all families…

 

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